


The Baby Project

by Who_Dat



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-07-11 07:54:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,948
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7039501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Who_Dat/pseuds/Who_Dat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Eric and Dele become parents. </p><p>... Sort of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Baby Project

**Author's Note:**

> ~ I don't really know mate 
> 
> • Just a quick note:  
> Italic paragraphs indicate a flashback 
> 
> An italic word/sentence just indicates exaggeration/emphasis on a word.

This is the story of how Eric ended up in his high school parenting class. First of all it was by force not choice. And second he needed _a_ credit, meaning this was his _only_ option. If you already can't tell, his social life and dignity are pretty much ruined, but he's still working on keeping his pride in tack. Which is why he won't go down quietly, not in this hellhole.

"Ready for your favourite time of the day Diet?" Dele grins as they walk into class. His best friend being here is this goddamn classes one, and only upside. It's also his only class with Dele, they're in different years and classes like this are the only time these year classes tend to merge, so as much as he hates suffering at least he gets some extra time with Dele out of it.

"So ready." Eric groans, as they take their seats at the back of the classroom. The teacher shoots the two of them a look the could probably melt an iceberg, she really hates them, especially him, which might explain the amount of times she's written him up.

_Take yesterday for instance. She was on one of her rampant lectures about healthy foods to eat during pregnancy, and Eric, well Eric was really tired, and fairly agitated, to put it lightly. He had his head down on his desk, trying to catch some shut eye, while Dele was entertaining himself, smoothing out Eric's blond locks, and giving him a nice neck massage to soothe him into sleep. It was probably one of the nicest classes he's ever experienced, and that's about when she started barking at him._

_"Eric would you like to join us today please?"_

_"We're listening Miss." Dele had tried, but his efforts were futile._

_"I didn't know listening involved fondling someone like a lovesick puppy." That comment drew multiple hoots and snickers from the class, and it's also what got Eric to raise his head from his desk._

_"Excuse me?" He remembers it came out more as a snarl than an actual question. "Listen here Miss. I'm going to make this very, very, clear to you. I honestly couldn't give a shit about this lesson. I don't know if your brain has the intelligence to process this, but I'm not a fucking woman. For that reason, and that reason alone, I have the right to ignore all your yapping. Second thing, you have no right, do you hear me? No right, to speak to Dele like that. Try it again and I'll send you straight back to the fucking womb that you won't shut up about."_

_He knew the second he stopped talking he'd gone way too far. The entire class had been gaping at him to the point he wanted to sink into the floor._

_"Get out." It was vicious and dismissive._

_"I-"_

_"I said get out. Don't even think of coming back."_

_So he left. Exiled to the office where he received a miserable lecture on respect. And it was about then when he decided to start a war._

_"I think it's funny that you're here talking to me about respect when she fails to demonstrate it towards us. Ok, fine maybe I wasn't being respectful, but Dele was listening and she humiliated him. I'd like you to explain to me how that's respectful. Dele is my friend and I was defending him and myself, that's all, I know I might've taken it too far, but I'm defensive, especially with Dele, so I couldn't let her get away with treating him like that."_

Which is why he's back in class today and not suspended. Although suspension actually might be the better option. He's a smooth talker, and the principal's a decent enough guy to respect him. Still, he's on thin ice, especially if the devil got reprimanded for taking the piss at Dele.

The rest of the class files in, quite a few staring him down, probably surprised he's still alive, let alone allowed back into class.

Eric sighs and Dele gives him a playful nudge.

"Don't worry Diet, they're probably in awe you escaped execution for the tenth time this year."

"They can mind their own damn business." He snarks back.

"I think some of them have a bet going for how long it takes for you to get kicked out of here for good."

He gapes at Dele. "You're actually shitting me."

"Nope they were talking about it yesterday after you left me all by myself."

He sounds just the slightest bit annoyed, so Eric immediately jumps on the defensive. "You could've followed me, backed me up, you know?"

"I can't get written up again." Dele says, averting his gaze.

Eric doesn't press on. He knows Dele's adoptive parents have high expectations of him, they're also not Eric's biggest fans. It doesn't take a genius to know that they've called the school multiple times to question Dele's write up's, and all Eric needs to do is put two and two together to know that his parenting teacher's obviously thrown his body down the river in response.

"Fine, I'll try to keep my mouth shut, but I'm not promising anything."

"Just ignore her Diet."

"Believe me, I try."

"Would you ladies like to quiet down so I can take attendance?" Satan, he's definately calling her that for the rest of his life, hums. Eric can already feel his body heating up, though he's not sure it's from rage or embarrassment. A few snickers echo throughout the room. This class is full of a bunch of immature girls, a few of which have boyfriends here as well. These couples never cease to entertain him. He finds it absolutely ridiculous how seriously they take this class. I mean, come on, how naive do you have to be to think you'll actually marry and have children with your first high school boyfriend? It's laughable, really.

Attendance goes fairly smoothly, although she does say Eric's name with a tad too much venom for his taste.

"Well, she's all sunshine and rainbows for you today, isn't she Dier?" Dele giggles, leaning back in his chair. So he's not the only one who noticed.

"Yep, just way too loveable, aren't I Del Boy?"

"Always."

Satan chooses this time to start her lecture. She's grinning at them way too smugly, and he knows something is immediately up.

"Today you will all become parents." She announces.

" _What_?" The word spills from both Eric and Dele's lips at the exact same time.

"You heard me, you're becoming parents today." She says, pulling out a bassinet from behind her desk. She removes what appears to be some sort of toy doll, decked in pink clothing out of it, it's supposed to be a girl, he assumes.

"You guys have shown enough maturity and interest in parenting to be trusted with these." She explains, her eyes linger on Eric, and she raises a coy eyebrow. "Well, some of you."

She's really asking for it isn't she?

Dele seems to sense his rage, pinching him into submission.

"Calm down." He whispers.

"This doll operates as a real baby would. It cries at frequent intervals and you'll be required to feed it, change it, and so on, until the crying stops. You're working in pairs and your mark will be based off how well you're able to do this. It gets frustrating, but to get a good mark you'll have to work through it. Also, if you are to act violently towards your baby..."

Why is she looking at him again?

"... It will die, shut off, and you'll fail, no second chances. It also has a camera inside it if you're wondering."

"You'll be taking these today and house them over the weekend. You'll finish the assignment on Monday, so you're getting an entire weekend to be parents. You'll also be given a pamphlet in which you'll record what time and why your baby was crying and the time it stopped, as well as who stopped it. I want the work evenly distributed, but I don't see that being much of an issue. Now each of you choose a partner, and once everyone's done I'll hand out the babies. Off you go."

"We're working together, right Diet?" Dele gently taps his arm. He can definitely sense the hopeless feelings seeping inside him.

"What's the point Del Boy? There's no way she'll pass me."

"She can't fail you if you do a good job. Please? I really don't want to be alone." Dele looks small, too small for Eric's liking. He resembles the skinny twelve-year-old Eric first met when he volunteered to coach his old middle school football team during his first year of high school. The kid who looked like he could be snapped in half, but could make magic happen with just a flick of his foot.

That was almost four years ago, and they've been connected at the hip ever since. Dele used to joke that Eric was the other half of his soul, and he's probably right. Eric knows Dele almost as well as he knows himself. He knows all of Dele's flaws and the hardships he's had to carry on his back in sixteen years of life. Dele knows his just as well. He probably still believes the soul thing, he just knows Eric gets way too embarrassed hearing that sort of stuff aloud.

"Fine." He mutters, leaning his head up against Dele's shoulder. "But I'm telling you now, if you fail, I'm sorry."

"I'd rather fail with you, than get an A with someone else."

"You're too kind." He grins, and Dele grins back at him. He no longer looks vulnerable, which leaves Eric satisfied.

"Has everyone selected their partners?" The class nods. "Alright, you guys are going to line up and I'll give you your baby. You'll go back to your desks and give the baby a name, you have the remainder of the period to do that and make any care plans, just be sure to tell me the name by the end of the class."

"Why do we need to name them?" One of the girls asks.

'Great question' Eric thinks to himself. Why is she taking this so seriously? It's a fucking _doll_.

"The babies respond to their names, which plays a key role in soothing them, understand?" The girl nods and they're left to line up. Eric, because he has horrible luck, ends up right in front of this girl named Camille. To put it simply, he doesn't like her, and she definitely doesn't like him. She's one of those morons who's doing the class with her boyfriend, a boyfriend Eric fondly remembers he beat the shit out of in Year 9, which probably explains why she hates him.

"So Eric you've finally embraced your inner faggot." She smirks, eyeing him and Dele from top to bottom.

"Well I wouldn't want to work with a dog like you."

She snarls at him, her boyfriend coming into the picture. Even though he's been quite a few of Eric's classes in high school, he can't bring himself to remember his name.

"Coming from a guy who couldn't get any ass if he tried." The dumbass hoots, Camille is back to her triumphant bitchy ways and Eric is pretty much ready to start throwing punches.

Dele beats him to it though. "All that talk from a guy who's taking parenting with his girlfriend. You're so far up Camille's ass it's not even funny, you dumb fuck. So why don't you go stick your finger back up your vagina and piss off until you can be the man in your own relationship before you start questioning anyone else's."

Eric's pretty sure he could hear a pin drop in the classroom by the time Dele finishes. Everyone's staring as the dumbass lunges at Dele, throwing punch after punch. He's seen Dele fight before, and well the last time it happened, it was terrifying, and this time is no different. Dele only needs one punch, straight into the back of the clowns neck to smash him into the floor. Eric immediately grabs him before he can do any more damage, pulling Dele back as he at fights his restraints.

Dele finally gives by the time Eric drags him back to his seat.

"Sorry." He mutters.

"Don't apologize, you're fucking brilliant. But you're totally getting written up, so I'm gonna go get the damn baby, we're gonna name it, and then head to death row, got it?" Dele nods in response and Eric heads back to Satan.

She isn't impressed with him, to say the least. But before she can unleash her rage, he quickly explains.

"Ok, so before you rip my head off, just give us the baby, we'll name it, then we'll go to the office, no complaints, I swear."

"Fine." She isn't amused, but he's pretty sure the less she has to see of them, the better. She hands Eric the baby and he returns to his seat. She's already called up Camille and the dumbass to do the same.

"You survived?" Dele looks generally surprised to see him come away unscathed.

"I said we'd go right after, she just wants to get rid of us."

"I still can't believe I did that..." Dele looks fairly upset. "I'm so dead."

"Don't worry about it, I'll get us out of this." He's already formulating his plan. Sure, maybe he can be bothered to parent, but he's a quick thinker, and an even better talker.

"You're a saint." Dele grins. "So what are we gonna name this thing?"

Eric eyes the bassinet carefully. The baby is decked out in pink clothing, so it's obviously meant to be a girl. Eric groans, of course he has to carry something around  that's the equivalent of a Barbie doll. She just had to go and take a jab at his pride, didn't she? Not that a boy would be much better, but at least it looks a bit more manly.

"What about Erica?" Dele bursts into laugher. He really isn't helping is he? Still, two can play at this game.

"What about Bamidele? It probably moans just as much as you do." His lips rest in a satisfied smirk and Dele doesn't look too happy.

"It's a girl, and that's a guys name."

"Fine, it can just be Delly, with two L's and a Y, that sounds more girly, right?"

"I still like Erica better, it's way more girly."

"Over my dead body we're calling it Erica."

Dele just laughs. "If you're gonna be so sensitive about it, why don't we just mix both our names into it?"

"You really think Satan's gonna think DelEric is an acceptable name?"

"You're way too literal. What about Ellie? It's some of your name and some of mine, but it's not too obvious." Dele suggests. It actually sounds kind of cute, not that he'd ever admit it.

"That sounds fine. Let's go tell her and get the hell out of here." They do just that and make their way too the office. Camille and her boyfriend are already sitting before the principal, and Eric already sees the two seats meant for them. The secretary nods at that and they walk in, taking those seats.

"So would one of you like to explain what happened here?" He starts, and immediately Camille raises her hand, Eric snorts, probably a little too loudly.

"Dele said something awful, something absolutely disgusting to my boyfriend." She says, way too dramatically.

"Would you like to explain what he said?"

"He told him to stick his finger back up his vagina and be a man in his relationship with me."

The principal eyes Dele, he doesn't look happy.

"Would you like to explain why you said that?"

Eric butts in, because he won't let Dele be left vulnerable, especially when Camille bullshits her story like that.

"Well actually sir, Camille left out a number of details from her story, including how it all started. So, Dele and I were minding our own business, but Camille has an issue with me, so she took the time to call me a faggot for pairing up with my best friend for a parenting activity, which doesn't seem very appropriate in my opinion. So I called her a dog, which I know wasn't exactly appropriate either, but I wasn't going to let her get away with uttering homophobic slurs. So then her little boyfriend came to her rescue and told me I couldn't get any ass if I tried. Which is why Dele said what he did, because someone who bows down in fear of his girlfriend shouldn't be telling me what I can and can't do. Then this clown started throwing punches at Dele, so Dele acted in self defence. That's about it. So really, the person who should be taking the majority of the blame here is Camille, considering what she said to start this incident." He finishes, resting his hands in his lap. Camille looks like a fish out of water, which makes him very happy.

The principal, on the other hand, keeps a very straight face.

"I see a reoccurring pattern in these altercations, and that pattern is that they always seem to involve you. Everyone knows you on a first name basis around this office."

"He is a bit of a problem sir, anyone can tell you that." Camille seconds, her boyfriend nodding in agreement.

"I can't help it, I just fight for what's right. And if homophobia isn't right, I'm not gonna let Camille get away with it."

"Alright, you two. Would Dele and Liam like to explain why they got involved in this fight between the two of you?"

Liam, that's what his name was. What a surprise, he's let his girlfriend do all the talking up until this point. Dele really wasn't wrong about him, but in front of the principal you've got to be respectful, and Eric's got that down to a T.

He speaks up now though. "Well, I had to defend my girlfriend when a mug like Eric tries to get in her face."

"But you did so in an inappropriate way."

"Eric acted inappropriately too, so you can't just signal me out."

"I suppose so, Dele would you like to explain yourself?"

"He was rude to Eric. Eric's my friend, and he always defends me, so I have to defend him too."

Camille rolls her eyes. "You're 'defending' involved spewing your gutter of a mouth all over my boyfriend. Who taught you how to talk like that? Your slut of a mother who gave you up because she'd rather spend her time drowning herself in booze than actually dealing with you?"

Eric doesn't even realize he's gotten out of his chair until Liam's grabbing him before he can pound his fists into Camille's bitchy little face.

"See! They're both fucking crazy!" Camille screams.

"Eric, you're dismissed." The principal says quickly, he looks worried for what Eric might and might not do.

His fist is inches away from Camille's face. He doesn't care that he's been brought up to never hit a girl, this isn't a fucking girl.

"Eric, do you understand me?"

"If you think she should be allowed to say that, you're sick, you're _fucking_ sick." He sounds absolutely insane, but he doesn't care. He won't let her get away with something like that, no one should ever be saying that to Dele.

"Eric, that's enough." Dele's voice is soft as he gently lowers Eric's fist. He hadn't even realized Dele had gotten up, he's honestly surprised can talk after hearing that filth.

Speaking of filth, Camille opens her mouth before he can. "See, he knows it's true, so don't act like some sort of feral animal Dier."

"Oh, I'm mad, really mad. But taking my anger out on you is only gonna bring me trouble, and you've already made your bed, so now it's time for you to lie in it." He sounds way too calm, which scares Eric more than it should. Because all he needs is a glance to see the darkness, the pure hatred in Dele's eyes.

"Can we go now? I'm pretty sure we know who the real scum is in here."

The principal nods. "Camille, stay here for a moment, the rest of you may go."

Eric doesn't need to be told twice. He follows Dele out of the office, baby bassinet in hand. He's worried, to say the least.

"Are you okay?"

Dele's eyes are still a bit clouded as he answers. "I really wanted to hit her."

"You would've had to beat me to it. She's a piece of shit that deserves to fucking rot, if you ask me. Don't listen to a word she says Del Boy, you're golden."

"Thanks Diet, I wasn't planning on it, But I really need to get used to people saying that. They all try to whisper about it, but I can still hear them."

Of course they all whisper. It's pretty much public knowledge how Dele was given up, not that his birth mother had much of a choice. Eric knows more about the story than he should, he knows that it was just a matter of time before Dele was taken by force. Instead his mother chose to give him to his current adoptive parents, and had that not happened, Eric probably wouldn't have known Dele for all that long, and he's way too grateful for that.

"They're all fucks." Eric says dismissively. "They just can't get used to anything different."

Because Dele is different. And in parts like these, things like this don't happen every day, and the schools so small that it gets around, even years after it originally happened.

"You're way too protective of me, you know that Diet?" Dele flashes him a small smile.

"Coming from the one who beat the living daylight out of some guy who said I couldn't get any ass." Eric grins back.

"You eat ass for breakfast." Dele's laughing now and it's not long before they're both drowning in hysteria. It's so untrue.

"Yum." Eric licks his lips as they exit the building. "So, the parenting project, are we gonna suffer together?"

"I'll suffer every minute of it with you." Dele doesn't miss a beat.

"So who's place are we going to?" He asks. It's a usual Friday night thing, only this time he's carrying a nice big ball of pink.

"Mine, no one's home. They're out of town visiting family or something, gone until Monday."

"Perfect." Eric grins as they make their way to the parking lot. It's later than he realized, cause the lots practically empty. Not that it bothers him, no idiot's gonna rear-end him trying to pull off a donut. Some of the kids around here should never have been allowed to operate a vehicle. The number of times they've put a chip in his paint job alone infuriates him.

He places the baby bassinet into the back seat and tosses the keys to Dele. Sure it's his car, but there's nothing worse than dealing with Dele lecturing him every time he pulls a questionable U-turn, or sigh when he runs a red. Dele is the most careful driver on the entire planet, but he's also probably one of the best. Eric would honestly feel less safe lying in a padded room than he does sitting shotgun with Dele.

It's about a five minute ride to Dele's place, Eric knows it so well it's practically his second home. Dele doesn't even raise an eyebrow as Eric heads off to the kitchen to pour a bowl of chips for the two of them. That's about when his phone rings. It's his mum.

_Uh oh._

"Hi..." Eric tries weakly.

_"Would you care to explain to me where the hell you are?"_

"Dele's place, staying here the weekend cause we've got a baby that apparently cries 24/7."

_"What about the principal calling me to recommend you talk to a therapist over 'anger issues?' Where does that fit into all this?"_

Oh great, just fucking _great_.

"It was nothing, I swear."

_"He told me you tried to hit a girl. I thought I raised you better."_

"Did he tell you what came out of that 'girls' mouth? She's lucky that was all I tried to do."

 _"I'm disappointed in you Eric, that's all I'm going to say."_ She hangs up and he's left with a sour taste in his mouth. Dele wraps his arms around him from behind.

"That didn't go well."

"Tell me about it." He groans, taking the bowl of chips off the counter. It might seem weird, but he's used to Dele's bursts of affection. If he's being honest with himself, he actually really likes them, not that he'd ever tell anyone that.

That's about when the wailing starts, and Jesus, it's fucking loud. Ten seconds of it, and he's already feels a headache coming on.

"Ellie be quiet." He attempts to shush the thing, which obviously doesn't work. Meanwhile Dele just laughs at him, so fucking helpful.

"And you called me the moaner?"

"Shut it." He mutters, lifting the baby out of the bassinet.

Surprisingly, it stops crying.

"Well, that was easy." Maybe this won't be too bad.

He carefully places it back down. Unfortunately, the second he lets go, it's back to crying.

"Awe, she likes you Diet." Dele's grinning devilishly. Why him? What did he do to deserve this?

He picks the baby up again, and right on cue, it stops its crying.

"Keep holding her." Dele says, barely holding back his giggles as he starts recording the incident in the information pamphlet.

"I swear this is intentional. She probably programmed the thing to only respond to my DNA. She's trying to ruin me." Ok, maybe he's being a tad dramatic, but honestly, that's what it feels like.

"Calm down Diet, it's probably just a one time thing, and even if it isn't, I swear I won't tell anyone."

"Swear on your life."

"I swear."

Eric's debating doing a blood oath, but the last thing he needs is Dele's blood spilling on one of his stepparent's expensive rugs and automatically being blamed for it, banished from Dele's place for all eternity.

Dele's studying him, a small smile on his face. Eric immediately feels his cheeks heat up.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You look so natural, that's all." He's grinning like the Cheshire Cat and Eric honestly wants to throw this baby at his head, just to shut him up.

"You're a fuck." Eric kicks at him and Dele gracefully dodges.

"That's not very motherly of you."

"That's cause I'm not a mother."

"The baby thinks differently."

"I swear to God, I'm going to throw this thing at you."

Dele tries and fails to put on a straight face. "Come on Dier, it's not that bad, you might finally get some girls now that you can be a good dad. Hear me out, okay? I'm not joking when I say you're holding that thing like you're it's real mother, girls really like that, a guy who's good with babies."

"Oh yeah? Please tell me, why I would ever want someone, especially a girl, to know I'm a good mother?"

"Well, at least you admitted it."

"You're an ass."

The baby starts wailing again.

"It's probably upset by how agitated you're getting Diet."

"Suck my dick."

The crying gets even worse.

He takes a deep breath, patting the stupid doll on the back, still nothing.

"Here," Dele pulls out something from the bassinet, a toy bottle, to be precise. Eric takes the bottle, slotting it gently into the baby's mouth. After a minute or so of it, he slowly removes it, expecting the worst.

But it stops. It actually stops crying.

He immediately turns to Dele. "Not a fucking word."

The rest of the night goes by without a hitch. Dele whips his ass on practically every PlayStation game he owns and they finally resort to watching cheesy romance movies. Well, sort of watching cheesy romance movies.

You see, neither of them are all that sappy, but there's nothing that gets Eric more excited then watching a romance movie with Dele. Because watching a romance movie with Dele means muting the sound and making up the story as they go, and he has to say, it's pretty hilarious.

So that's what they do, the baby lying in between them on the sofa. As he begins to doze off a disturbing thought crosses his mind.

_It's like a real family._

Thankfully he falls a sleep before he really gets into that disaster.

~

He wakes up to more crying and curses. It's fucking early, 5:30 in the morning fucking early. You know when Eric wakes up at 5:30? Never, that's when.

"Shut up..." He groans, half optimistic that the crying will actually stop and he can return to a peaceful slumber.

That obviously doesn't work.

He turns, his neck stiff as Dele's obviously spent the night using it as his own personal pillow. Eric nudges him.

"Make it stop Dele..." He pleads, as Dele jolts awake, practically giving himself whiplash as he turns to face him.

"I think she needs to be changed, we didn't change her yesterday." He says groggily.

"Have fun with that one."

"She likes you more than me." Dele insists, but Eric's having none of it.

"And I like my sleep more than her."

He's probably imagining it, but he's almost certain that the crying gets louder.

Dele kicks him, but picks the baby up, probably taking it somewhere so Eric can sleep in peace.

When he doesn't return, Eric starts to worry. How hard is it to change this thing? He really doesn't want to get up, but the image of Dele collapsing from fatigue as he tries to change the baby takes precedence to a few more hours of glorious slumber.

He's just gotten up when Dele comes back, placing the bassinet down on the couch. He's decked in athletic wear and immediately Eric connects the dots.

"No fucking way."

Dele gives him his best puppy dog impression, which he's probably spent hours mastering.

"Please Diet, I just want to go for a run. Just take her while you sleep and I'll be back before you even wake up."

"It's five in the morning, why do you need to run now? Why can't you just cuddle with me for a few more hours then go run at the same time as normal people." He sounds way too clingy, but Dele's like a fucking blanket that just radiates warmth. Eric probably sleeps his best when he sleeps next to Dele, even if his neck hurts like a bitch the following morning.

"I'm too awake to cuddle with you."

"Bullshit, you just wanna get away from the damn baby."

"Maybe." Dele winks at him, flopping down on the couch to lace up his shoes.

"You're the worst."

"What if I make you breakfast when I get back?"

"Depends on what you make me."

"I'll make you anything you want."

"Okay, you can make me 'I'm sorry pancakes' then Del Boy." Eric grins smugly. It's one of his favourite traditions of their friendship. It all started when he accidentally left Dele's new high tech Adidas football boots on the subway after borrowing them. Dele wouldn't even speak to him, let alone forgive him for the rest of the day. But if there's one thing he knows about Dele he loves two things more than anything else in the entire world. The first thing is a Fanta and Coke mixture Dele concocted at Nando's, which is absolutely disgusting, if you ask him. The second is that he loves pancakes, they're his favourite breakfast food, and Eric, he makes a damn good pancake.

So when he showed up to Dele's door at ten thirty at night with a stack of strawberry pancakes, decked with the words 'I'm sorry' written masterfully in maple syrup, Dele's stepparent's might've thought he had more than a few screws loose, but Dele absolutely loved it, which is why it's tradition now.

"I'd love to." Dele really makes the best pancakes. Especially when he decks them with whipped cream and blueberries.

"Fine, I'll be waiting." Eric mutters, forcing himself to sleep.

~

He wakes to the smell of pancakes, which is probably the best smell in the entire world. He rolls himself out of bed. He's honestly surprised he hasn't heard the smoke alarm yet. Because yes, Dele does make the best pancakes in the whole wide world, but he's almost positive that every time Dele tries to cook something, he starts a fire.

He wanders into the kitchen, plopping himself down at the table. "No fire? I'm proud Del Boy?"

"Nope, there was a little fire, the alarm went off, but you slept through it."

Eric can't help but laugh. "You're actually rubbish."

"Shut up, or you're not getting any pancakes."

Eric gives and Dele stacks the pancakes on a plate, writing out a clear 'I'm sorry' on the top one. He hands Eric the bottle of whipped cream.

"Would you like to do the honours Diet?"

Eric grins, snatching it. "I'm using all of it."

"You won't even give me a spoonful?"

"Nope, all mine."

Dele rolls his eyes, taking a seat next to him. "You're evil Diet, you know that? What if I collapse from hunger?"

He knows Dele's just joking, but he remembers when he first met Dele, how thin he was, way too thin, even for his height. Eric takes some of the pancake on his fork, douses it in whipped cream, and holds it in front of Dele's mouth. Dele greedily snatches it, finishing with a quick lick of his lips.

"You're too kind Diet."

"You're not getting anymore." He says, shielding his goodies.

"Don't worry, I already ate a granola bar when I got home."

"You're such a drama queen. _Oh Eric, I'm gonna starve if you don't feed me your delicious pancakes!_ " He mocks, causing Dele to kick him under the table.

"Hey, at least you said they were delicious." Dele grins, and Eric curses himself internally for slipping up like that.

"Forget about it and I'll buy you dinner."

"Deal."

~

They spend the afternoon cuddling in Dele's bed, taking turns soothing the baby as it cries. It cries way too much for Eric's liking. At least once every hour or so, and it really starts to piss him off. Especially after Dele starts drawing on his back. They've been playing this game where one of them has to guess the word or picture the others drawn out by feel alone. If they guess wrong they get a nice whip to the ass with a towel. Eric isn't playing the game for its entertainment value as much as he is for the feel of Dele's fingers. Dele has the hands of a fucking God, and that's not an exaggeration whatsoever. He's simply playing because if he can guess five drawings right, he gets a massage, and Dele's massages are heaven.

He's got four for twelve so far and they're halfway through the latest one and he's pretty sure he knows what it is. That's when the baby, the stupid baby, has to start crying.

"I fucking hate this thing."

"The feelings mutual mate."

Eric rolls himself out of the bed, pulling his shirt down before he picks up the damn baby.

"You don't even know how much I needed that massage..." He mutters under his breath to the thing. It takes him fifteen minutes to feed and change it, and by the time he's back in bed he's completely forgotten what the hell Dele was drawing earlier.

_Damn it._

"Massage. Now."

Dele doesn't even question him.

~

The rest of the weekend passes by without a hitch and he's left lying numb Monday morning, trying to remember what he does with his life other than sleep, stop the baby from crying, and cuddle with Dele.

School.

_Oh shit._

It's ten-fucking-thirty already. Dele's passed out next to him, his hand touching Eric's hip. This project's killing them both. That said, his mother's definitely gonna be at his throat for skipping school, especially after her latest conversation with the principal, and Dele's stepparent's aren't going to be pleased either, they take the piss at him whenever he skips.

Wait a second...

Dele's stepparent's...

Oh _fuck._

He's up instantly, the feelings of doom already circulating in his stomach before he opens the blinds.

Dele's stepparent's car is there. So is his. He's really screwed, isn't he?

That said, he doesn't have that much time. His first task is waking Dele.

He shakes his friend violently, praying he'll realize how dire the situation is.

"Wake up." It sounds more like an order than a plea of terror. Dele grins staring up at him in amusement, he obviously doesn't remember who's supposed to be home today.

"Good morning to you too."

"Dele, get dressed, we're fucking dead."

"What do you- Shit." He seems to realize it now. "Do you know where you left your clothes?"

Eric shakes his head. He's been wearing Dele's clothes all weekend. It's nothing new for the two of them, they're around the same size. Still walking downstairs wearing Dele's clothes in front of Dele's adoptive parents sends all the wrong messages.

Dele digs through his drawers, tossing him a his football jacket, the same one Eric has back at his place and a pair of shorts that Eric's fairly sure belonged to him at some point, Dele probably borrowed them and never gave them back. It's about as good as he can do in the circumstances.

"They're really gonna kill us." Dele mutters, pulling another pair of shorts on over his boxers and a tank top over his bare chest.

"Let's just get this over with, unless you suggest jumping out the window and making a run for it."

"We'll break our ankles and be out for the rest of football season." Dele points out. He's right, and he's pretty sure his own mum would kill him for jumping out of a two-story house.

"Fine, let's go." He sighs, as Dele leads the way downstairs. His stepparent's are sitting at the kitchen table. Both raise an eye at them, and boy, if looks could kill.

"You." His stepmother, who probably hates Eric a tad more out of the pair stares at him darkly, she obviously blames him for all of this.

"Yes, me."

He flinches as Dele pinches his thigh. He shoots him a look that clearly tells him to watch his mouth.

Geez, he wasn't trying to be mouthy.

"How dare you disrespect our home!" Her voice cracks, and Eric can already tell there's tears in her eyes.

"You're a scumbag." His stepfather seconds. Of course, all the blame's on him, not that he'd want Dele to take it or anything.

"We were doing a project! Jesus, I didn't do anything, I swear!"

"You call sleeping with our child a project? You've got some nerve!"

 _'He's not your fucking child._ ' He almost says it, biting his tongue at the last second. He's not suicidal.

Instead he takes a deep breath, trying to channel the person who gets out of trouble in a couple of sentences. He doesn't think he can do it this time though, not with people who look at you like you're the devil himself.

"I slept in the same bed as your son. Dele and I are somewhere on the borderline of best friends and a married couple. Right now we're more married couple because for parenting we have to look after a baby. It's annoying as hell, and it cries all the time, so we spent all weekend lying in bed together looking after it. We didn't 'do' anything sexual unless you count giving massages as sexual, other than that, we napped together. So calm down, I didn't molest him."

"You're looking after a baby...?"

"It's a doll." Dele explains. "But it's programmed to act like a real baby. We named her Ellie."

Dele sounds so soft, so innocent. Eric really doesn't know what to make of it.

"And how does that tie into you not being at school this morning?"

"She kept crying, all night long. After awhile Eric just told me to sleep and he'd look after her. He's a really good dad, Ellie loves him."

"This is the same Eric that's been written up four times in the past month for this particular class?"

"It's comes naturally..." He mutters. God, why is he so red?

"And he didn't touch you in any form of sexual way?"

"Nope."

"Look at me when you answer." Dele's stepmother orders. Eric hopes she doesn't notice his own eye roll.

"We didn't touch each other like that, I promise." Dele sounds beyond sincere, causing his stepmother's face to immediately soften.

"I trust you baby." She says, standing up and wrapping her arms around Dele. Eric suddenly feels a bit awkward, like he's an intruder, which he kind of is, but that's beside the point.

"You'd better get to school." Dele's stepfather warns. "I got a call saying you got into a fight on Friday with someone, and the last thing you need is another write up."

Dele nods. "Got it, let's go Dier."

"Actually, if it's alright I'd like to talk for him, just for a minute."

Why does he feel like he has no choice?

"Ok, I'll go get the baby. Your keys are in your bag, yeah?" Eric nods and Dele leaves him, much to his displeasure.

She waits a few moments before speaking, probably to make sure Dele's out of earshot before he rips him to shreds.

"I really don't like you."

"Thanks." Shit, that was definitely out loud.

"You're everything I never wanted in a child, snarky, temperamental, always knows what to say. I've never understood what Dele's seen in you."

Joy, it must be pick on Eric day, or something like that.

"I was at my mothers house over the weekend. She's into her nineties and she's a huge football fan. We filmed the last game we saw Dele play in to show it to her. Do you remember that game?"

Eric racks his brain. He remembers they won, handily too. But what else? There was definitely something else.

It takes him a minute to remember, but he does. Dele scored probably the best goal of his life in that game. He ran it down the middle, put it through one of the other teams defenders legs, twice, and smashed it into the top corner of the net. He mainly remembers because he spent the rest of the day calling Dele _'wunderkid.'_ Dele had to tickle him into oblivion just to get him to stop.

"Yeah, what's your point?"

"After he scored that goal he jumped into your arms, you ended up falling and lying in the grass laughing about it until the referee came up to the both of you and gave you each a yellow card."

Now Eric really remembers. His coach gave them way too much shit for that, something about being disrespectful, but hey, it really was a nice goal.

"What does this have to do with anything?"

"When my mother saw that she asked if you were his boyfriend."

"She _what_?"

"She said you acted as though you were the only two people in the world. You both looked so happy."

Eric's face heats up. This is way too awkward. It's probably a test too, a test that he's definitely failing.

"It's also pretty obvious when anyone tries something on him during the game you're over there ready to kill them."

"You're not filming me, ever again."

"I'm just saying this because my mother loves Dele, we all do. And if he's happy being with you, I'll have to tolerate you."

"Thanks... I guess?" It comes out more like I question. "I really love Dele too."

She shoots him a small smile, almost as if she's liked him for eternity, rather than just the past five minutes.

"You can go now, drive safely."

Eric nods, retreating to the car where he finds a crying baby and a very unimpressed Dele who immediately hands Ellie to him, and as if his life couldn't get any worse, that of all things makes the crying stop. He grimaces.

"I knew she wanted you, now what was that all about Diet, you didn't get in trouble did you?"

"I honestly don't even know anymore Del Boy, I really don't."

"What did she say?"

"I'll tell you when I figure it out myself."

Dele nods and starts the engine. It's lunch now and third period starts in twenty minutes.

"Can we get Nando's? I'm honestly starving." Eric asks. There's one a couple minutes from school, if they get there quick they can probably grab something to eat in class.

"Done. But you're staying in the car with the baby while I get it."

Eric nods and Dele pulls out of the driveway. The drive to Nando's doesn't take long and they're back in the car with their food about five minutes before the bell's signalled to ring.

Dele starts up the car again, while Eric digs into the food. He cuts off a piece of chicken, holding his fork out for Dele to take a quick bite.

"Here, it's warm."

The glare he gets suggests he just asked Dele if they should streak down the halls of the school naked together.

"Driving." He says, and Eric can't help but laugh.

"Could you be any less serious?"

Dele pulls into the school parking lot, they've got a minute, but class isn't far.

"You're not supposed to eat and drive Diet." He says, hopping out of the car.

"You're really something else Del Boy, a real fucking mutant, you know that?"

~

Satan's glare practically melts him when he enters the class.

"Look who decided to show up." She smirks. "Is your baby even alive still?"

"Shouldn't you already know if is Miss? I mean, you're the one running this operation." Dele says, sliding into his seat, cheeky smile on his face.

She frowns, the bell interrupting whatever insult was about to spew from her lips.

"Well, I'll be taking the babies from you now. I see we all got them back in one piece, surprisingly. Anyway, I'll be looking over the footage the camera captured and your pamphlet data for the next week or so. You'll all receive your final marks for the assignment in two weeks time. For now I'd like you to work with your partner and make a pros and cons chart about the assignment. It will also be marked." Eric buries his head in his desk, he just can't catch a break can he? He really hopes that the things camera didn't pick up any of the footage of him lying around with Dele. She really doesn't need to see that.

He's the one that returns the baby to her. She's smirking at him way too openly for his liking. Why did he show up today again?

"Eric Dier, I'm honestly surprised you could keep that thing alive all weekend."

"It was an interesting experience Miss." He hopes he throws her off, but she seems to read him a tad too easily.

"I'm not expecting much." She says dismissively. "Also," her eyes fall on Dele, who's eating his Nando's at the back of the room, "you're not allowed food in here, pass that on to your boyfriend."

Well, two can play at this game.

"Considering you ate your lunch in here last week Miss, your point is irrelevant and hypocritical. I'm gone now." He turns around, returning to his seat. If he gets written up for that he might as well give up on life all together.

"That was fun, huh Diet?" Dele says, pulling out his notebook.

"Over two whole days with the biggest moaners I know? What could be better- Ow!" Dele jabs an elbow into his ribs repeatedly until Eric finally gives, feeling as though he's been stabbed.

"Your elbow's like a fucking knife..." He mutters as Dele scoffs in reply.

"You deserved it."

"So pros and cons of this nightmare, we gonna get started?"

"Yep, give me one, you loved being a mom way more than I did."

Eric's ready to shove Dele out of his seat until he catches Satan's eyes on him, so he lets it slide... For now.

"Well it helped us become more responsible or whatever, I don't know, just make it sound nice Del."

Dele nods. "How about it made you fall in love with me?" Dele's giggling. He's obviously trying to wind him up, but that doesn't explain Eric's next words.

"I was already in love with you before that, dumbass." He instantly slaps his hands over his mouth. He did not just say that.

Dele isn't saying anything, and it's honestly scaring the living shit out of him.

"Dele... I..." He wants to say he doesn't mean it, but he fucking does. Why does this happen to him of all people?

Dele's look of surprise slowly morphs into a small smile. He leans into Eric's ear, words making his entire body shiver they second they're uttered.

"Yeah Diet, me too."

~

• Two weeks later •

~

They're lying in the back of Eric's car. He's got the seats down so that Dele has all the space in the world to massage his back. He pulled a muscle this morning at football practice. It's lunch now and the thing still hurts like a bitch. He doesn't think he's ever needed Dele's magic hands more. He hears the warning bell ring, signifying that they've got five minutes to get their asses to class. Eric just groans. He won't move right now. What is he even saying? He _can't_ move right now.

Dele's hands suddenly stop and his muscle's hit with a whole new wave of pain.

"Put them back." He's practically begging. He sounds way too weak, too helpless, but that's how he feels at the moment.

"We have to get to class now Diet."

"I'm not moving." He says, and he means it.

"So I'm going by myself?" Dele doesn't exactly sound too happy about that.

"No... Stay here with me."

"You seriously want me to skip class in order to massage your back?"

"Yes, that's not too much to ask, is it?"

"Nope, but Satan already saw us, and she'll definitely write us up. You do want to graduate, don't you?"

Eric shrugs, honesty he's perfectly content lying in the back of his car with Dele for now, and probably for the rest of his life, if he really thinks about it. 

"We get our baby project marks back today, don't you want to see them?" Dele tries.

"She probably failed me."

"I don't think so. She was looking at you funny yesterday."

"She was probably picturing my face when she hands me a big, fat, zero."

"You're overreacting." Dele says, and Eric knows he doesn't imagine the laugher in is voice. "Come on Diet."

Dele plants a kiss on Eric's back. He then proceeds to hand him his shirt, which has spent the past hour slumped over the front seat.

"This is the worst." He grumbles, pulling the garment over his head.

"Maybe." Dele only giggles, opening the door for the both of them. They've only got a minute or so, meaning they'll have to run their asses off just to make it to class on time.

"You really owe me, Del Boy."

"Always."

~

Satan calls them out one by one. He doesn't even have all that much time to prepare himself. He comes third on the attendance, right after Dele.

Dele mouths a 'good luck' to him as they pass, hands brushing ever so slightly in acknowledgement.

Now it's just him and Satan.

_Joy._

"So, Eric, how do you think you did? I was actually quite surprised with you."

Just by the way she said it tells him that it's not a good thing.

"Probably not well."

She hands him an envelope, which most definitely contains the shittiest mark of his life.

"I'll really never understand you. You can go now. If you have any questions you can ask me at the end of class."

Eric doesn't need to be told twice. He plops down next to Dele, who's staring at him.

"How'd you do?"

"I don't even want to look."

"Diet it can't be that bad."

"It's probably worse."

Dele rolls his eyes, snatching the envelope from his hands and tearing it open.

"Wow, Diet..."

"It's worse, isn't it?"

Dele hands him the thing and he's tempted to close his eyes, but he sees it before he can even try.

_Ninety-fucking-five percent._

"How..." He's fairly sure his hands are shaking. "She hates my guts."

"But you were a good mom, you can't lie."

"Oh, piss off, she probably gave me someone else's. What'd you get?"

"Eighty-three, I'm not on the Eric Dier level of motherhood, I guess."

"Mention my name and motherhood in the same sentence one more time and you're walking home."

"But it's practically my car, mum."

"That's it, I'm driving us home."

"That's not fair!"

"I fucking warned you." He smirks as he gets up, ready to approach Satan. As much as he'd love ninety-five percent, he knows it wasn't meant for him, he's not naive.

"Is there a problem Eric?" She asks. She doesn't look smug, but her smirk will probably come out after she fixes this mess.

"There's no way this is mine." He says simply, because he's obviously right.

"As much as it pains me to say it Eric, sadly it is. You demonstrated the best and most natural parenting qualities out of the entire class. As much as I hate you and your mouth, I have to be fair. Now you're going to go sit down, try not to gloat, and we'll pretend this never happened.

He nods, even though he's practically speechless.

"See Diet, best mother in the class. The whole class, you're a fucking beauty."

Goddamnit he's never gonna live this down is he?

~

"That was the most illegal U-turn of all illegal U-turn's Diet." Dele says sharply. It's been an hour since school ended, and an hour of non-stop complaining about his driving. They're going on a date tonight, at the best sushi place known to man, which is why Eric will drive over an hour just to get there.

"You really should have your license revoked."

"Everyone should have their license revoked according to you." Eric mutters. Thank god, they're only a couple minutes away, he doesn't know how much longer he can spend in Drivers-Ed.

They finally pull up in the parking lot and immediately Dele's eyes widen.

"Diet, this place looks way too fancy."

"So? It's good."

Dele points to his SnapBack.

"Aren't we a little bit underdressed for this?"

Dele's SnapBack is complimented by a pair of dark jeans, a white T-Shirt, and his favourite grey bubble vest. He looks so much like Dele, if that makes any sense. Eric loves it.

"We look fine."

"I'm pretty sure you wore that shirt to the gym last week."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." It's a black tank, and it's kind of snug. Dele's being ridiculous though, it's nicer than half his other clothes, which Dele always mocks for being too baggy.

"You look like you just broke out of prison, especially with that haircut."

"Why did I bring you here again?"

"Because you love me." Dele  grins, flicking him between the eyes. "I'm just messing with you, you're fine."

He flinches, raising a cocky eyebrow. "Just fine, you sure?"

"Don't let it get to your head."

"My heads already balloon-sized mate. How does it feel to be going on your first ever date, with the greatest person in the whole wide world?"

"Magic."

Eric doesn't know what to say for a second, he doesn't want to leave the ice hanging in the air between them.

"Magic huh? Never heard that one before. Care to explain?"

"I never thought I'd be on a date with someone as amazing as you, that's all. It's kind of like a dream, and I almost want to pinch myself to see if it's real."

"I'll gladly pinch you, you sap." Eric's grinning.

"Maybe the principal was right when he recommended you get help for all that violence."

"Don't mention that." His mum's been giving him shit about that for weeks. Dele's grinning back at him now.

"So, how are you feeling about our first ever date Eric Diet?"

"Warm, kind of nervous too."

"What about a kiss for good luck?"

Dele's staring at him expectantly, like he's testing him, daring him to try. They've kissed before, but not on the lips. And that's what Dele wants, at least that's what he's assuming.

"You sure you're ready?"

"Positive."

Eric takes a deep breath. In the span of three seconds a wave of butterflies have collected in the pit of his stomach.

Dele's face is inches from his, and boy, do his eyes ever look beautiful.

"I'm just as nervous as you Diet, trust me."

"Then how are you so bold?"

"Because we have to do it at some point."

"Great reasoning." He deadpans.

"Well maybe I've been imagined it for awhile now, and this is the perfect time to do it."

"In a car that you've been nagging me and my driving for over an hour?"

"It's the first place I really ever spent alone with you, so why not?"

He completely forgot about that.

It's the first place he saw Dele, well, _really_ saw Dele.

_It had been after soccer, one of their first practices in fact._

_He had been waiting around ten minutes for him mum to pick him up, back then it was her car, not his. She'd been running late from work or something. He had a can of Coke in one hand and his brand new iPhone in the other. Its various pings indicated a wave of texts. This was back when he was one of the most social people in his class. Everyone wanted to be him. It had made Eric feel less alone as he waited in the school parking lot that day. Although he wasn't technically alone._

_If he drove by his old middle school now he could still tell you exactly where Dele was standing. Near the bike racks, cleats in hand, lost look on his face. He didn't know much about Dele, aside from the fact he was by far the most talented player on the team. Still, it seemed far more interesting at the time to talk to him then wait around by himself._

_"Hey, you're waiting too, huh?" Dele practically gave himself whiplash turning to him. He remembers the ambushed look on his as face clear as day, he still laughs thinking about it._

_"Yep." He had nodded, biting on the inside of his hollow cheek. It didn't take a genius to know Dele was far too shy for his own good._

_"It's kind of late, who's picking you up?"_

_"My mum, she might've forgotten though."_

_"If you want, you can use my phone to call her."_

_"It's okay, I don't want to push my luck."_

_That had caused Eric to raise an eyebrow. And that's about when he saw the bruises on Dele's arm. Dark purple blotches on tanned skin. He couldn't help but stare._

_"Is everything okay?" He had asked, quietly. He hadn't wanted a soul to hear them, even if they were all alone. He remembered the lecture his health teacher had to given them at the beginning of the semester, that no form of abuse should be tolerated, ever._

_That's about when his mum pulled up to the two of them. She eyed Dele from top to bottom, and immediately asked him if he needed a ride._

_"It's okay, I can walk."_

_"No sweetie, where do you live, I'll drop you off." Eric's mother loves Dele, if he's never mentioned it before. Probably loves him more than Eric sometimes, thinks he's a good influence._

_He still remembers the way her brows furrowed when Dele named off the shadiest part of town. Eric had only known because this mug Andrew had told him to go there if he wanted to have a 'good time.'_

_'They'll have sex with anyone down there, even you Eric.'_

_He still cringes at that to this day._

_"Ok, I'll drive you home. Is it alright if I stop at the grocery store for a couple of minutes? I've gotta grab something for dinner." They had both nodded._

_"How are you so good at football if you're from a place like that?" Eric hadn't meant to say it, especially not that maliciously, but Dele seemed used to it._

_"It's not that bad Eric."_

_"Those bruises sure say otherwise."_

_Dele had slapped his opposite hand over his arm, even though there was far too much purple for a little hand to cover up._

_"So who hit you Dele? You know that's not okay, right?"_

_"No one! It's from football! I'm just clumsy, alright?" His voice had been so high pitched, so desperate. It had almost been like he'd been trying to convince himself, not Eric._

_"You're scared, aren't you? You're scared of whoever makes those marks. You're too scared to tell anyone."_

_"There's nothing to tell!"_

_"Oh yeah? Then pull up your sleeves, pull up your shirt, I bet you anything there's more marks. Whoever hurts you doesn't like anyone seeing it, do they?"_

_"No one's hurting me!"_

_"Then tell me where they came from."_

_"It's none of your business!"_

_"So you do have more." It came out as a statement more than a question._

_"I don't!" His voice had cracked, and a single tear had slid down his cheek._

_"They want to take me away... But I can't go... They keep coming and I always have to hide... I don't want to go away..."_

_Eric had hugged him. He had never been much of an affectionate person, but Dele had looked so small, so fragile, and so close to breaking._

_"Don't worry, no one's gonna take you away from here, I won't let them."_

_"... How?"_

_"Well, I have a big mouth, I'll find a way to tell them off. I need you if this team's gonna get anywhere this season."_

_That had been the first time Dele ever flashed him a smile._

And now they're here.

"You still remember that?" He grins.

"I remember everything, especially when it comes to you."

"You're a sap Del Boy."

"Takes one to know one."

Eric shoves him. "Am not."

"Biggest sap in the country."

"How?"

"Let's see... You love watching romance movies, cuddling, and you'll do anything to have my hands on your back."

"You like all of those things too, aside from massages cause I don't have hands like you."

"Maybe, but I got it from you."

"I'm not kissing you now." Dele's pushed his luck way too much for him to actually allow it.

"Come on Diet, you're not being fair." Dele's puppy dog face is back, but he won't give easily.

"You're calling me soft Del Boy, can't let you get away with that."

Dele sighs, leaning back in his seat.

"Fine then, I'll wait. You'll give eventually."

"Try me."

"Nope. Hey Diet, I know this is gonna sound out of the blue, but what are you doing after you graduate?"

"Marrying you, why?"

"Are you joking? Because I honestly can't tell." Dele seems surprised, caught off guard.

"Nope, why would I joke?"

"Because you're never serious." Dele nudges at him as he frowns. "You know I'm right."

"Fine, lets get married, right now. Come on Del Boy."

"Diet, where the hell are we gonna get married? And how the hell are we gonna survive when everyone finds out?"

"Well too bad, I'm completely serious."

"Diet, can you please stop being ridiculous? I'm starving, let's just go eat and then you can kiss me later."

"I'm being serious, but there's one problem Del Boy..."

"What's that?"

"You have to make reservations, and... I forgot."

"Diet! Seriously?"

"I wish I was joking." He feels like a mug, an absolute mug.

"Eric, how the hell do you drive an hour somewhere for a date, but forget to make reservations? You're honestly the worst date ever."

"Don't remind me." Why is he such a fucking moron again?

"Don't beat yourself up over it."

"Yeah, I've got you to do that for me."

"I'm not mad, I'm always happy as long as I'm with you."

"And you call me sappy?"

Dele lunges on him and they both erupt into giggles.

"I fucking hate you. You can't go five seconds without bantering me off!" Dele's eyes are tearing up in hysteria. Eric doesn't exactly know what's going on with his, but Dele's laugh, like he says, is absolutely contagious, and suddenly there's nothing he wants to do more than kiss him.

So he does.

Dele tastes sweet, kind of citrusy. He squeaks at the contact on his lips, but eventually eases into it, holding Eric's neck as if it's his lifeline.

He pulls away for a few moments, just to recollect his breath, grinning from ear to ear.

"Love you too, Del Boy." 

 

 

 


End file.
